This post is a little of a downer, but it DOES end on a positive note.
My daughter has had to deal with a bully before, but it didn't even compare to what happened to her this year in 4th grade. She didn't tell me about it for a long time, but finally one night she told me a 5th grade girl was calling her names, bad names. She was pushing her around, shoving her out of line when she would see her. She would make fun of what she was wearing, say things to her friends and get them to laugh too. One day Delaney was playing with the girl's cousin at recess. When the whistle was blown the girl came up to her and said, "If you ever played with Antwon again, I'll kill you." I reported all of the incidents to the principal and to her teachers. They were doing what they could, but this girl was very sneaky. She would catch Delaney in the hallway by herself and do something to her. She got suspended for 2 days for the killing remark. I hoped that might put an end to it. Wrong!
She continued saying and doing things to her. A lot of the things happened at the end of the day when they were released from class. The girl would slip into the girl's restroom and wait for Delaney to walk by to come to my room. She punched her in the stomach and even gave her a bloody nose one day. One of the biggest problems was Delaney wouldn't tell me any of it until we got home. When I first found out about it, she even begged me not to tell her teachers and she sure hadn't told any of her classmates. One evening she told me the girl had said something to her but she didn't know what it meant so she hadn't told me . She said the girl told her she was going to get her older brother to come up to school and rape her. I was shocked and very upset. I reported everything to the principal and to her teachers. I requested that she have a buddy walk with her when she left the classroom. I started standing out in the hallway at the end of the day to make sure she wasn't hiding out in the bathroom. That girl was very persistent, she found someplace else to bother her. She unzipped Delaney's backpack and pulled stuff out and threw it on the ground. My daughter was begging for me to let her go to our neighborhood school. I told her there could be bullies there to and I wouldn't be able to help her as much (not that I had been successful).When I would wake her up each morning and she wouldn't want to go to school.
I am not a very confrontational person, but finally I had all I could take. It was at the end of the day and I had a parent standing in my doorway with me. I saw the girl down the hall and I asked the mom to stay there so she could be a witness in case the girl tried to tell something that didn't happen. When she passed by, I told called her over and said, in the toughest voice I have, "Leave my daughter alone. Don't talk to her, don't look at her, don't touch her. Leave her alone!" She said she hadn't done anything to her. I just repeated it all again and told her people were watching her.
The girl's teacher thought that would take care of it. The next day I kept running into her in the hallway. It made me fell uncomfortable because I knew she was probably calling me names to her friends as I walked by. So that afternoon, I called her over to me as she was walking out to go home. I told her that I am a nice person and if she would just leave Delaney alone, I'd be willing to help her in any way I could. So as it has turned out, she has been staying after school and taking AR tests in my room a couple of days a week. I think she is really trying to change for the better. She has apologized to Delaney and they will even play together after school. I'm hoping that this can be a positive experience for the girl that will help her in the future.
Good news for me this week, I won the Quietest Pencil Sharpener Ever from Kim @ The Very Busy First Graders. Thanks so much, Kim!